Not An Inebriate
by HetChrome
Summary: Never mess with a weasel who says he's drunk. Sorry, I stand corrected. A mink. B18 Belphegor X Hibari Side X27


**Authoress Note: The most erotic thing I've ever written, and yet, it is still rated T. Am I pathetic or what?! I'll start on the X18 one.. sometime later.**

"Hibari-san, please try to act civil today," the twenty-four year old Vongola boss, Sawada Tsunayoshi whispered.

Hibari Kyouya, the mafia family's Cloud Guardian, scoffed, flicking tresses of gorgeous charcoal from his sharp, gray eyes. They glinted ominously as he stared at the younger male, questioning his plead.

Tsuna grinned nervously back. Hibari had developed a respect for the boss a few years prior, but Tsuna still didn't dare to trust that the Cloud wouldn't snap back.

Hibari blinked slowly, and the crease between his brows deepened for a split second before smoothing out again. He nodded, looking mildly displeased.

Tonight was to be the Vongola family congregation, where all the Guardians, tutors, and Varia would come together to reinforce bonds, exchange information, and to socialize in general. A large banquet would be held, organized by Reborn, Tsuna's Arcobaleno tutor. Tsuna still felt uncomfortable handling the ridiculously large sums of currency that were in the Vongola's jurisdiction, so he let Reborn do it. The baby had just scorned the boy for his weak attitude, but relented and would let him off just this once.

Tsuna ran his fingers through his unruly hair, which extended down to his back in thin strands. He mentally sighed, for his Mist Guardian, Rokudo Mukuro, persuaded him into getting similar hairstyles.

Tsuna produced a hairband from the front pocket of his silky Armani suit, grimacing at the rich material. He tamed the longer locks of hair into a low ponytail.

Hibari strode next to the young man, also clad in an equally expensive suit. He had left the top two buttons of his purple dress shirt underneath open, his black tie pulled down slightly as to be less constricting. They were both beautiful creatures, to be sure. Tsunayoshi, with his soft locks of burnt sienna and large, milk chocolate eyes, attracted many an admirer. Coupled with his petite frame, lightly tanned skin, and innocent and pacifying aura, he was irresistible.

To do Hibari Kyouya justice, he was just as stunning today. His angled features, broad shoulders, considerable height, and pale skin would draw crowds that he would shun, and they would disperse a second later. Unless they wished to test his wrath. His wild black tresses still gave him a neat appearance – it was a careful, deliberate air of casualness.

The pair stepped swiftly through the hallway, Tsuna taking two steps for every one Hibari would stride.

Tsuna cursed his short legs.

They were on their way to the front gate of the mansion, where there was a mandatory gathering of all the Guardians from all around the globe so they could go to the dining hall together.

The mansion itself was huge, and they hurried double time to get to the meeting place before Reborn shot them. Well, Tsuna hurried. Hibari was walking at a leisurely pace.

Tsuna cursed his short legs again.

They reached the majestic double doors, which actual _servants_ – Tsuna cringed at the word – pushed the door open for them. Through the door there, was a gigantic garden – the stereotypical kind. Lawns of the healthiest green, cobblestones of exact proportions, and perfectly trimmed hedges lining walls and edges. There were large flowerbeds set in the center of the wide path, in regular intervals, which were surrounded with a low stack of stone. By the time they had made it to the front gate, Tsuna's heart rate went up considerably. Hibari just kept his gaze on his boss, expression impassive. Just as they arrived, a sleek, white Rolls Royce limo pulled up with a violent screech, and would have sent up a cloud of dust if there was any. The door flew open, startling Tsuna, and the door slammed shut again. An energetic figure rushed toward the half-boy-not-yet-man.

"Juudaime!" A flash of silver, and Gokudera Hayato, Tsuna's self-proclaimed Right Hand Man and Storm Guardian beamed. His mint green eyes gleamed with happiness.

"Gokudera-kun," Tsuna greeted warmly.

"It's always a pleasure to be in your presence!" He replied enthusiastically, balantly ignoring the silent Cloud Guardian.

"How was France?" Tsuna smiled softly, he hadn't realized that he had missed his friend so much.

"Eh. It was pretty fucking boring. Except that time when that one fucktard started molesting - "

Tsuna decided he didn't want to know, but the vulgar language gave him a strange sense of nostalgia and comfort. Gokudera had been off in France for more peace regulations for a month, and Tsuna found that he liked it better when it wasn't just he, Hibari, Reborn, and Kusakabe Tetsuya in that huge mansion. Neglecting the … _servants_, of course._ They_ didn't say anything. Tsuna cringed again.

The next car pulled to a stop, this one a black Porche. Unlike Gokudera, the driver of this car pulled in smoothly, without a single sound. He parked neatly behind the much-abused limo, and climbed out with a jingle of keys.

"Yamamoto!" Tsuna grinned, feeling calm immediately in the presence of the tall Rain Guardian.

Yamamoto Takeshi gave an easy-going grin, and shut his car door. Ruffled black hair, shorter than Hibari's, was messy, but never got into his butterscotch eyes.  
"Yo, Tsuna!" Yamamoto had just arrived back from Japan to check up on all the Vongola's relatives situated in the country.

"Everyone's fine," the swordsman waved, his grin still plastered over his face.

The deadline for everyone to be there was drawing close – six minutes left.

A yellow Lamborghini Murciélago pulled up messily, giving a couple random swerves before settling in front of the gate. Only fifteen, Lambo crawled out of his car, along with a grinning Sasagawa Ryohei. His Lightning and Sun Guardians, respectively. Though Lambo didn't have a license, Tsuna approved. Between the two, Lambo would be the preferable driver. Lambo's curly black hair was plastered to the pavement in dizzyness, and Ryohei's gelled up white was facing away from them, lost in the extremeness of it all.

The last to arrive would be Mukuro, and he had two minutes to do so, before Reborn started shooting.

One minute. Tsuna worried his lip. If Reborn started shooting, he wouldn't care if anyone got caught into the crossfire. Most likely, he would try to _get_ Tsuna into the crossfire, claiming it to be "training."

15 seconds.

Five, Four, Three, Two -

_Screech. _Mukuro's flamboyant Bugatti Veyron halted in their view, and the man himself stepped out coolly, blue-black locks cascading in a stream down his black-clothed figure. Black gloves, black knee-length boots, black pants – leather, Tsuna supposed. A white T-shirt to completely throw off the image, and a black tie, carelessly tied and left loose. He moved around the expensive car to help a young woman with a similar, pineapple-like hairstyle to his out of the car. She was a petite thing, wearing a black suit jacket, white dress shirt, tie, and a skirt with boots. A black eye patch embossed with the Vongola's golden symbol covered her right eye. The two had just come back from their own personal vacation with Joshima Ken and Kakimoto Chikusa in Florida, the US.

"Mukuro," Tsuna sighed, relieved that there wouldn't be any shooting. Dead Guardians would further add to the mounds of paperwork on his desk. Not that he didn't love them, of course.

"Hello, Tsunayoshi. Missed me?" When the whole family moved to this mansion, Mukuro had dropped the "Vongola" title, as he was now one too. The girl waved, and blushed softly.

"Boss," Chrome Dokuro greeted, smiling a little at the boss who gave her real organs and took her precious Mukuro-sama out of the Vendice prison.

"How are you?" Tsuna laughed. It was, after all, so much better to have more people in this godforsaken mansion.

~ThisBePageBreakYarr~

The dining hall was decorated magnificently. Tapestries, thick carpet, and Swarovski Crystal chandeliers were there normally, but now a red tablecloth and table settings for around two dozen people covered the long table. Tsuna noticed that eight of those seats were filled already.

Reborn held the yellow pacifer, and was dressed in his customary fedora, suit, and Leon. He sat on the right of the head seat of the table.

Colonello was placed next to him, in military clothing. His seagull, Falco, was perched on his blonde head. Next to him was Lal Mirch, the "defective" Arcobaleno. A pair of red goggles were snugly fitted to her blue tresses. Then was Fon, a monkey lounging on the armrest next to him. The Hibari-look-alike gave an amiable nod, and sipped his tea with a comfortable sigh. Luche, with a small squirrel on her ridiculously mushroom-like hat, offered Skull a cookie, which she produced from a tin. Skull gave a squeak of thanks and had to open his helmet to consume the treat. The octopus on his head had to un-suction itself so Skull could unseal it. Mammon sat next to the whiny Skull, plainly annoyed that he was given such a seat. Fantasma on his head snorted. Verde was at the very end, an alligator in his lap. He had a laptop set in place of the cutlery, frustrated at the lack of technology he could bring. He took a sip of his latte.

"Ah, you're on time," Reborn spoke, tugging at his sideburns. His espresso was nearly gone, and Luche got up to get a refill for him, also pouring more tea for Fon. She gave a motherly smile and offered Verde more latte, which he declined.

Tsuna would have frozen if it were any other time – the sound of Reborn's voice was enough to strike fear. But today, he was full of warm cheer because of his Guardians, though Hibari certainly wasn't. The man growled lowly at the crowd, especially Mukuro. He still harbored a grudge against the illusionist. Not to mention the crowding. Damned herbivores. He made it a point to stand far from the rest of the group, which Tsuna noted with a small pang of sadness.

"Take a seat. They'll be coming at any moment." Reborn stated. _They? _Ah, he must mean the Varia. Tsuna hoped they wouldn't destroy too much – though their finances could more than cover it, his heart probably couldn't and would fail on him.

There was a knock on the door, which Tsuna found suspicious. If it were the Varia, they door would be blown to smithereens or kicked open or some such. Gokudera perceived the same, and had dynamite already clasped between his fingers. The door opened, and Dino Chiavarone poked his head in.

"Tsuna! Yo! And Kyouya and everyone's here too!" He shuffled inside, and Gokudera grumbled at not being acknowledged. His dynamite disappeared into his person somewhere.

Dino grinned cheerily – Tsuna guessed that the Ferrari Enzo he saw from the window was the Chiavarone boss's. Enzo, the turtle that inspired the car, greeted them with a gaping jaw. Tsuna made a mental note to keep water away from the small animal, unless he wanted this party to end in a mess.

"Ah, Tsuna. Other guests will be coming as well. I took this opportunity to turn this into a Mafia-relations strengthening gathering." Reborn piped up. "This room will be rearranged for those guests."

Tsuna twitched in horror. This wasn't prepared for.

"Reborn!" Tsuna whined. It was a very familiar sight.

~ThisBePageBreakNarr~

They actually came.

Hordes of them, really.

Mafia families of every standing and individuals of whatever status, from the boss to the personal assistant, were here.

Tsuna groaned inwardly, silently cursing Reborn. The poor guy forgot that this particular baby had the power to read minds. He found a gun cocked at his temple, and his back went rigid as a board.

No words were exchanged, but then again, no words needed to be.

Tsuna greeted family boss after family boss, ranging from the Yakuza in Japan to the Triad members of China.

They milled about, now food were served on twin tables, clothed in white. The long buffet-like settlement suited nearly everyone's tastes, and waiters milled about in the crowd, politely offering refreshments or small delicacies. Ryohei and Lambo ignored the socializing and just ate their way through courses of Italian, Japanese, Chinese, American, etc. etc. courses. There was food of every kind. Of course, Reborn personally made it to be so, as if one country's dish were to be forgotten, those mentally unstable Mafia bosses could wage war, taking it as an insult. Tsuna was caught in the middle of it all, and had to greet everyone – it was impossible to get away.

Hibari lounged at the balcony, one hand gently swirling a glass of red wine, the other folded across the marbled stone. No one dared approach him, knowing his reputation. Mukuro was playfully spinning Chrome around the dance floor, looking for all the world like twins. He would separate briefly to dance with some other person or get some food. Yamamoto was entertaining a crowd of female guests with a conversation, which Gokudera was also reluctantly participating in.

Then, the Varia came.

They must have been told that it was a formal event, because each of them were clothed in suits. Even Fran, though he looked ridiculous in one along with his frog hat.

However, the crowd could nearly sense the danger – without being informed, they knew this was the infamous Varia.

Even Hibari turned from his balcony to stare at the commotion, and Hibird returned from the skies to nestle once more in his owner's fluffy hair.

"Ushishishi. Sorry for being late," Belphegor chuckled, not sounding at all like he was sorry.

"Shut up, trash. Where's the runt?" Xanxus growled, eyes sweeping the hall. He pinned Tsuna with a glare when the younger boy was found, who gave a very unmafioso squeak.

"VOOI! This party is fucking dumb!" Squalo snarled. I would say that the sound of the safety unlatching was the only warning he had, but that would be incorrect. Reborn never puts the safety on his gun. The cock of his pistol, more like. Squalo proceeded to shut up.

"Amuse yourselves," Xanxus ordered, and swept off to rant to Tsuna about some mission or other – everyone in the Vongola's inner circle knew that the "Double X" had a thing for the Tenth Vongola. Levi followed his beloved boss a few respectful steps behind.

Squalo growled, but stalked off to kidnap Yamamoto from his female friends. If Yamamoto was still a virgin, he probably wouldn't be after tonight.

Lussuria chose to join Ryohei and Lambo at the food tables, and also managed to strike up a conversation with the girls that Yamamoto had left behind about facial care.

And even Fran went off to chat with Mammon, who looked totally bored out of his mind.

So Bel was left with no one. He would have gone to visit Mammon too (he, of course, wouldn't admit that he missed the little guy), but if Fran was going, he wouldn't. Spending more time than necessary with the hero-obsessed boy didn't seem to appeal to him.

At first, the grinning man besieged the food tables, selecting some Italian desserts before pouring himself a generous amount of vodka. A few females of some mafia boss that was unimportant tried to talk to him, but were blown off with a few sarcastic comments and a few well-placed blows to the ego. However, though he made such rude remarks, they kept coming, attracted to his messy waves of gold, mysterious aura of "having no eyes," and ever-so-damnably-sexy grin. Bel tried to hurry and finish his meal quickly, as he wasn't allowed to kill anything that was human tonight. Reborn would get mad at him, which would lead to Tsuna getting mad at him, which would lead to Xanxus getting mad at him for making Tsuna mad at him. Yes, that made sense to a genius like Bel.

His gaze roved the room for possible exits – there were no rules set for leaving "temporarily."

He eyed the balcony contemplatively, shrugging past other female suitors. These clingy beings were undoubtedly harrassing the other rather attractive members of the Vongola as well.

He pushed his way to the balcony, where it was … rather empty. A long figure staring out at the stars was emitting a killing aura, cold and sharp, though the figure himself was just taking a calm sip of tea. Wine was not agreeable to him in the least after all. His discarded glass of red wine was set lightly on the floor next to him, where not even the bravest of the waiters wanted to come and collect it.

Bel chuckled. The figure stiffened slightly, relaxed again, and the body turned slightly to glance at the grinning minx. His gaze narrowed – this Hibari Kyouya was very good at holding grudges, even if it was one from the Ring battles _ten years _ago.

"Ushishi. It's that skylark person," Bel teased. Hibari ignored him, preferring to watch Hibird fly among the stars.

Bel lost his grin, and frowned slightly at being ignored. His grin came back full force.

"Oya? He's ignoring me," the tiara-toting boy playacted, as if he were talking to someone else. Hibari twitched. _Annoying._

Bel gave a slight hiccup.

This time, Hibari turned around completely, irritated with this stupid herbivore invading his space, therefore crowding him, and making stupid noises.

The Cloud Guardian noted the empty glass in one hand and an almost empty one of what was probably vodka in the other. His honed senses could smell the alcohol, and he wrinkled his nose with disdain.

Belphegor gave another (admittedly cute) hiccup, and lurched forward to the edge of the balcony. Hibari watched him silently, but switched his attention back to Hibird. The herbivore could do as he pleased. The skylark was in a good mood today.

Correction.

He _**was**_in a good mood today. A suited arm wrapped around his lean torso, causing Hibari to drop his ceramic cup in shock. It crashed to the marbled tile, shattering into many fragments.

"Mm..." the inebriated man mumbled, burying his face into the freshly pressed, _clean_ suit that was _spotless_ until just now.

The blond was lucky that Tsuna had forbid all weapons beforehand.

With minor difficulty, Hibari pried himself out of the drunken hold, gripping the other at arm's length.

"_What_," he hissed, "are you _doing_?" Any self-preserving creature with even the most minor instincts would realize that it would be a very wise and opportunistic idea to run right about then.

Cut the guy some slack – Bel was drunk. As stated prior.

"I'm being... drunk," Belphegor slurred.

"I've realized," Hibari replied dryly, feeling disgusted at the other man's appearance. He made a mental note to get his suit to the dry cleaners before a hole was corroded through it or something.

"Go back to the party and get someone else to take care of you," Hibari ordered. Bel didn't seem to hear, still grinning uncontrollably. His hands fisted onto Hibari's lapels, and yanked him forward.

Their lips met in a sloppy, half-wasted lip-lock. It could hardly be called a kiss, with one half of the participating party surprised and unwilling, and the other half barely coherent.

Afterward, Hibari would suppose that Bel was very talented with his mouth. More so in the "physical" area than the making-speeches area.

But now, it was hardly the time to think such things. Hibari's face was slack with shock, eyes widened as far as the narrowed orbs would let them.

Being loose, Bel mindlessly slipped his tongue past the other's soft lips, hands still holding Hibari's shirt in a vise. The Varia member's previously tense frame relaxed, arching into Hibari's own frozen form.

Their wet muscles tangled in the former Disciplinary Head's moist cavern.

Hibari, suddenly coming to life, realized just _what_ was happening, bit down hard. His sharp canines bit through, drawing coppery blood.

Bel's lips were coated with the crimson liquid. Bel touched his own lips, feeling the wetness.

A strand of bloody saliva connected the two, quickly severed when Hibari, so furious he couldn't do a thing, fled.

Bel stayed behind, watching the Vongola storm through the crowds of mafioso, who were all blissfully unaware of the very inappropriate event that took place above.

Bel just continued to grin, and leaned on the banister.

He slowly lapped the blood away from his lips, enjoying the rich taste that was unattainable by any alcohol. Bel glanced at his bloody fingers, and placed one into his mouth.

Then, he removed it with an sensual _pop_.

~HolyCrapThatWasScary~

Xanxus stormed around in the Varia base at Italy.

"Tsunayoshi informed me that - "

"Ara, you're calling him Tsunayoshi now?"

Bel was ignored.

"Tsunayoshi informed me that his Cloud Guardian informed him to inform me to inform you that he would bite you to death the next time you meet. _Again_." Xanxus continued as if he were never interrupted. Again, Bel had no trouble interpreting what was just said.

"Well, he _did _already bite me - "

"Why the fuck did you fucking molest his Guardian?!" Xanxus screeched. "Sure, you were fucking wasted, but that's not a reason, shithead!"

Bel blinked, but grinned. A very slow, very twisted Cheshire grin.

"I'll admit to that... but..." Xanxus waited.

"Who said I was wasted?"

**Authoress: That was the most explicit thing I've ever written. O///O I'm so sad.**

**Anyway. Please Review! This is … what, the only fic of it's kind. Which is sad. Write morre. The pairing exists, I swear. Probably. Well, whatever. Review!**


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